Wifey and I are currently purging and nesting as Baby Yau #2 is in due in about two weeks. During our purging/cleaning we often come across a lot of memorabilia and documents and notes and things (you know how that goes ..)
we came across some photos of Kayla taken when she was 1 month old. And I got a bit overwhelmed with emotion and started tearing…
Some of you already know that it was quite a journey for us to be blessed with our first child (for those that don’t, here’s a small inkling from my first IVF blog post)…
And so whenever we see photos of Kayla we tend to get a bit emotional. Happiness. Sometimes sadness thinking about the five years of trying. Sometimes a bit of shock: “Wow she’s getting so big already!!”
But then once in awhile, for me, it hits me in a deep-rooted spot. Most notably it has been at weddings when I flash forward in my head (usually during the ceremony or father/daughter dance) that one day “soon” I will be the father of the bride. And I will start to tear up, and whisper to the little girl asleep in my lap, “Hey you .. please don’t be in any hurry to grow up, okay?”.
What happened today, it must have been the fact that we are in the midst of preparing our place for Baby Yau #2 .. and so already in my thoughts I am considering what an incredible journey it’s been, and then I come across these photos.
And my thoughts are:
“Wow, she’s already 2.”
“Wow, she was sooo small.”
“Wow, that time is gone forever, she’ll never be that small again.”
“Wow, she’s only going to keep growing now…”
And then I got overwhelmed with emotion and started tearing up.
I think back to how I’ve changed my previous sysamdin/dancing lifestyle to put family first. And it’s so worth it because the moments pass too quickly. She’s now 2 years and 4 months.
It’s sometimes great, but then sometimes difficult, when you have so many things you’re interested in … the difficult part of course being that you only have so much time.
In particular, with Lindy Hop there’s sometimes..well..no.. there’s *constantly* that longing to continue working on one’s craft, to continue with choreography, competing, dancing, and self-improvement. And sometimes just a longing to continue going out and being social. I mean.. I seriously love swing dancing!
And so when I’m focused on Lindy Hop, yes, it can be quite disheartening sometimes to know I cannot spend time on it.
But then in moments like these, I realize dancing will always be there for me… but catching Kayla (and now Baby Yau #2) at these precious moments growing up…, well .. those moments are gone in an instant.
Hey you kids… please don’t be in any hurry to grow up, okay?